How Depression has Made Me a Happier Person

When people ask me how I am, I usual say, “I’m alright,” or simply, “ok,” and some people respond with concern or condescension: “/just/ alright?” As if being manically exultant is not living a full life. I hate that response: “just ok?” To me, just ok is heaven. For me, just ok is hard earned […]

What I’ve Learned From Living with Suicide

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What I've Learned From Living with Suicide

Several months ago, I went to a family gathering. I’d worked all week, and I was exhausted. The event was miserable, and I felt incapable – truly, utterly incapable – of talking to anyone. I felt like I’d been drugged, the paralysis of exhaustion and family and socializing was so great. On the drive home, […]

The Inner and Outer Kingdoms: On News and Anxiety

Yesterday morning, I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. I instantly knew what it was: I had ingested so much news, so much anxiety about the world, that I was making myself sick. I felt trapped in my illness: I felt obligated to stay engaged with the news, to stay glued to the screen […]

A Curmudgeon’s Manifesto

We live in a time of heightened tension. In fact, we practically live in a zombie apocalypse, and the contagion is codependency. We are all turning into full-time managers of each other’s attitudes, beliefs, and sentiments. We froth at the mouth at those who disagree with us on social media; we yell instead of discuss, […]

Living Mindfully in a Kingdom of Fear

Like many, I watched in horror as America elected a narcissistic bully as our next president. Like many, I was overwhelmed by despair, panic, and grief, and astonished by the intensity of my feelings. A serene voice in my head repeated, over and over, “There, there, things might not be that bad. We don’t know the […]

Exploring Depression in Games, Film, and Literature

As someone who battles mental illness, I’m always on the lookout for pieces of art, film, books, or games that describe the experience of deep depression. Depression – especially deep, harrowing, soul crushing depression – defies explanation or description. Part of its horror is that it leaves you speechless. So when I come across art […]

Three Concepts I Wish I Understood in College

A reader of mine recently tweeted at me asking how, especially when in the midst of deppression, one can do little things to reach larger goals. I thought his question was a good one, particularly because I’ve spent the past 4 years trying to discover an answer. I’ve already written a post about my tools […]

I Was in a Shooting, And Here is What I Have to Say

It seems that every other morning now I wake up to some new horror in the world. The massacre in Orlando – a hate crime against the LGBT community, and the worst shooting in recent memory – seems just the beginning of a long line of massacres the summer has in store for us. Terror […]