When people ask me how I am, I usual say, “I’m alright,” or simply, “ok,” and some people respond with concern or condescension: “/just/ alright?” As if being manically exultant is not living a full life. I hate that response: “just ok?” To me, just ok is heaven. For me, just ok is hard earned […]
Several months ago, I went to a family gathering. I’d worked all week, and I was exhausted. The event was miserable, and I felt incapable – truly, utterly incapable – of talking to anyone. I felt like I’d been drugged, the paralysis of exhaustion and family and socializing was so great. On the drive home, […]
Yesterday morning, I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. I instantly knew what it was: I had ingested so much news, so much anxiety about the world, that I was making myself sick. I felt trapped in my illness: I felt obligated to stay engaged with the news, to stay glued to the screen […]
Last Friday marked the nine year anniversary of the 10 seconds that altered my life forever: the shooting in which 4 of my friends were shot, two killed, and I was somehow spared.
We live in a time of heightened tension. In fact, we practically live in a zombie apocalypse, and the contagion is codependency. We are all turning into full-time managers of each other’s attitudes, beliefs, and sentiments. We froth at the mouth at those who disagree with us on social media; we yell instead of discuss, […]
Like many, I watched in horror as America elected a narcissistic bully as our next president. Like many, I was overwhelmed by despair, panic, and grief, and astonished by the intensity of my feelings. A serene voice in my head repeated, over and over, “There, there, things might not be that bad. We don’t know the […]
As someone who battles mental illness, I’m always on the lookout for pieces of art, film, books, or games that describe the experience of deep depression. Depression – especially deep, harrowing, soul crushing depression – defies explanation or description. Part of its horror is that it leaves you speechless. So when I come across art […]
A reader of mine recently tweeted at me asking how, especially when in the midst of deppression, one can do little things to reach larger goals. I thought his question was a good one, particularly because I’ve spent the past 4 years trying to discover an answer. I’ve already written a post about my tools […]
It seems that every other morning now I wake up to some new horror in the world. The massacre in Orlando – a hate crime against the LGBT community, and the worst shooting in recent memory – seems just the beginning of a long line of massacres the summer has in store for us. Terror […]
For years now, I’ve tried to find a way to describe the experience of depression and anxiety. Since I’m currently in the process of fighting off a mild bout this week, I thought I would take the opportunity to try to set some of it to words.