Finding Identity Outside of God

Finding Identity Outside of God

An Esoteric Christian and a Former Scientologist Have a Conversation

An Esoteric Christian and a Former Scientologist
Photo by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash

I recently had a fun, engaging, meeting-of-the-minds conversation with former Scientologist Chris Shelton for his Sensibly Speaking show. In our conversation we discussed struggling with atheism, deconstruction of faith, inner truth vs. outer truth, speaking in tongues, yoga, and much more. I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation, and I hope you enjoy listening to it.

A New Kind of Christianity: Inner Truth Vs. Outer Truth

A New Kind of Christianity
Photo by John-Mark Kuznietsov on Unsplash

I’ve written a lot about faith and doubt within Christianity over the past year or so. Doubt has been my constant, dark companion. I can understand now why Martin Luther (according to myth) hurled a bottle of ink at a devil that was taunting him. I’ve been hurling my own ink, trying to fend off […]

The Good Father: Of God, Doubt, and Gay Relationships

Church against a beautiful night sky

It’s been a long, painful and perilous journey from a life of suffocating fear and self-loathing toward a life of fearlessness and love. I spent most of my teenage and adult years trapped in the impenetrable coffin of my self-loathing, absolutely convinced that I was unlovable to God.  As a young boy growing up in […]

Post-Christian: A Lament

I’m slowly coming to the realization that the faith of my childhood: the Evangelical, middle-of-the-road, straight and narrow faith that was passed down to me by my parents and community, no longer fits. My faith has gone through a myriad of transformations, and I’ve always prided myself on having an adaptable faith. But this feels […]

On Faith and Doubt

For January, 2017, we explored my personal struggles with faith and doubt. I examined the things I want people to know the most about struggling with doubt, what Donnie Darko taught me about religious doubt, why my Christian give-a-damn is broken, and how I define Esoteric Christianity. As usual, my readers offered some compelling responses, […]

My Christian Give-a-Damn is Broken

I used to care so deeply. I used to care so deeply about right belief, about Orthodoxy, about the church’s teachings and how to best live them out. I used to care so much about being part of the inside, part of the Right Crowd. I used to care so deeply about not being cast […]

Nightmares, Agnosticism, and Esoteric Christianity

On Christmas Eve my partner and I watched an old favorite of mine: Donnie Darko. The film is a trippy, incoherent and yet strangely cathartic philosophical exploration of reality. Running through the film is Donnie’s struggles with belief in God. The film captures well the unreality and alienation that accompanies such deep exploration: little makes […]

Three Things I Need you to Know About Struggling With Doubt

For as long as I have had faith in God, I have also known doubt. My doubt and I have been in a dance for years, now, growing apart and then coming together, sometimes fighting, sometimes talking, sometimes choosing to understand one another. As I struggle with navigating the faith I love so dearly, I […]